Title: The Barber That Shaved the Wrong Head
Written by precious precious
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In the busy town of Umuchoko, there was a popular barber named Baba Blade. He was known for his sharp clippers, but his mouth was sharper—always gossiping while cutting hair.
One hot afternoon, a wealthy politician, Honorable Ebube, walked into Baba Blade’s shop. He removed his expensive cap and said, “Give me a presidential haircut.”
Baba Blade grinned. “No problem, Chief! I will make you look fresher than a Lagos big boy.”
Just as Baba Blade started shaving, his childhood friend, Mazi Kelechi, entered the shop with a big bag of groundnuts.
“Kai! Baba Blade, do you know what happened last night?” Mazi Kelechi asked, cracking a nut.
Baba Blade, always ready for gossip, paused mid-haircut and leaned closer. “Tell me, my brother!”
Mazi Kelechi started a long, dramatic story about how Mama Nkechi’s husband caught her whispering to another man near the palm tree. The story was so juicy that Baba Blade completely forgot he was holding a clipper.
Before anyone could say “barbing disaster,” Baba Blade absentmindedly shaved off the entire middle section of Honorable Ebube’s head—leaving hair only on the sides like an old village chief!
The shop fell silent.
Mazi Kelechi stopped chewing his groundnut. The apprentice covered his mouth in shock. Even the ceiling fan slowed down as if it, too, was in disbelief.
Honorable Ebube touched his head and screamed, “JESUS CHRIST!!! What have you done to my destiny?!”
Baba Blade, realizing his mistake, started shaking. “Ahhh, Chief, don’t be angry. I was distracted by the story! Let me fix it—”
Before he could finish, Honorable Ebube grabbed a long broomstick from the corner and started chasing him around the shop.
“MY ELECTION IS NEXT WEEK! HOW CAN I CAMPAIGN LOOKING LIKE A SUFFERING MONK?!”
Baba Blade ran for his life, jumping over benches, dodging slippers, and screaming, “Forgive me, Chief! I will use dye to draw the hair back!”
Outside, people gathered, confused. “What’s happening?” one woman asked.
Another man replied, “Baba Blade don barb political crisis!”
From that day on, Baba Blade stopped gossiping while barbing. And Honorable Ebube? He had to wear a cap for the rest of his campaign.
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Moral of the story:
Mind your business when holding sharp objects!
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