For one Kenyan husband, nighttime has become a source of confusion and concern — not because of loud neighbours or sleepless children, but because his wife mysteriously “falls sick” every night at bedtime.
According to him, this routine has become almost predictable. “We could be laughing and watching TV, but as soon as it’s time to go to bed, she complains of sudden headaches, stomach pain, or extreme fatigue,” he says. “It happens too often to be a coincidence.”
While it may sound humorous or suspicious to outsiders, such situations can strain relationships and point to deeper, underlying issues. Marriage counsellors suggest that when a partner consistently avoids intimacy or bedtime routine, it could signal emotional, psychological, or relational disconnects.
“There are a few possibilities,” explains Nairobi-based therapist Beatrice Nyambura. “She could be experiencing anxiety, physical health issues, or even using illness as a way to avoid intimacy due to unresolved conflicts or dissatisfaction in the relationship.”
On the other hand, some individuals use such tactics to create emotional distance or avoid difficult conversations — often unknowingly. In some cases, the ‘sickness’ might be real but poorly understood, such as chronic fatigue syndrome, hormonal imbalances, or anxiety disorders that flare up in the evening.
Experts advise open and non-judgmental communication as the first step. Instead of accusing or mocking, partners should create a safe space to talk about feelings, expectations, and concerns. If the pattern continues, seeking medical or professional help may uncover hidden health or relationship issues.
For this husband, the nightly “sickness” may not just be about avoiding bedtime — it could be a cry for help, a sign of stress, or a silent plea for deeper connection. Either way, it’s a problem worth addressing, not ignoring.
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