My own elder brother's simple "good news" sent chills down the spines of the whole family.
Last night, my elder brother called my mom.
My own Elder brother own one spoken sentence was enough:
"Sister-in-law is pregnant."
The whole house fell silent instantly.
Not happy.
Stunned.
Why?
Because I just gave birth.
My mom has been helping me every day, her body is already exhausted.
And now another one?
There is simply no one to help.
My first reaction was not to scold.
My first reaction was to ask:
"Why did you not discuss it with the family?"
I could not help but call my sister-in-law.
My sister-in-law said it so casually:
"It is nothing, I am thinking of quitting my job and taking care of my own daughter myself."
I was truly stunned.
What era are we living in?
Who quits their job like that these days? Mortgage payments, living expenses, medical care, future education—all solved with a simple "I will raise it myself"?
What chills me to the bone is not the lack of planning.
It is the complete lack of remorse.
It is as if the whole world should revolve around their decision.
I was blunt:
"Having a child is no small matter."
"Our family simply does not have the resources or time to help with another one."
Then, they turned around and told my brother:
"We were just calling to share the good news."
"Why are you forcing me not to have a child?"
I was furious.
Who is forcing you?
We were just stating the facts.
But my own elder brother and his own wife can not use a simple "good news" to portray themselves as the victim.
Good news?
Knowing that our own family was already overwhelmed,
knowing that I just gave birth,
knowing my mother could not possibly have two children at the same time,
how could you call it good news?
Marrying into the family does not mean losing your freedom.
But at least have some sense of propriety.
Having a child is not something you and your husband can just decide to do,
and then expect the whole family to foot the bill unconditionally.
It's not that we can not have a child.
But could you just wait?
Could you have told us sooner?
Could you stop treating the house like a backup daycare?
Now the whole family is disappointed.
Not because of the baby.
It's because of that "I have made my decision, you guys figure it out yourselves" attitude.
Honestly,
the scariest thing is not the lack of planning.
It is that you do not even care how many people your choice will drag down. If it were you, would you feel that some "good news" is actually not worth congratulating at all?
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